Freeloading 38-year-old flips out after consultant girlfriend refuses to bring him and 17-year-old daughter on business trip to Japan with her: 'He was in disbelief when I didn't bring her anything'

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    AITA for refusing to buy my boyfriend's daughter a gift and silencing his notifications while I was away on a business trip?

    I (F32) went on a 8 day business trip to Japan. I work as an external consultant for a company. This would be a visit to scale our services. Me and 3 other colleagues would visit, but we would be at the same site for only 2 days until we were spread out to other areas. was very excited until I told my boyfriend (Bryan M38) of 8 months. His reaction wasn't very positive. I asked what was going on, and he said he was spaced out because of situations at his job, but he assured me everything was fin
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    My accommodations were paid for by the client and that I had already confirmed. I got a very nice accommodation but it was definitely booked for a single traveler. My colleagues had other rooms. Bringing his daughter would require a separate bedroom or a suite. I would not go back to cancel on the accommodation or ask for a larger space (unthinkable) or do anything to mess up the schedule. When I told Bryan, he said I should be able to ask for some changes. I also realized that he wasn't ready t
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    Also, I began to worry about his sense of humor. It's not like I've mastered Japanese business etiquette, but I took the time to learn, and Bryan sometimes does things that get him in trouble. We would be having dinner with our client and colleagues and I could either have him stay at the hotel (not a great way to treat a partner, or bring him along if that was permitted (awkward especially if it messed up the accommodation schedule). When I candidly expressed this concern, he got extremely ped
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    About one or 2 days before I flew back, he started texting me with requests. He wanted me to get xyz, this and that, for his daughter and his nieces. I got very angry because she didn't even reply, but he had no problem asking for more and more stuff, and that put me off. I told him that his daughter never replied to any of my messages, and he didn't say anything about it. I ended up silencing his notifications and buying presents only for my family. When I got back, all I wanted was to spend ti
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    I'm doing my best to create a good future, and I'm a bit on the fence about continuing the relationship. I care about him and his kid, but I'm afraid of being used/ dragged down, and the way he pressured me made me really uncomfortable. I'm also a bit hurt because I had built a relationship with his daughter, and not getting a single reply to my messages is honestly a bad look. I'me tempted to think that she's either angry because I didn't agree to bringing them along or that maybe he told her t
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    People advised her that she was not being the unreasonable one.

    cassowary32 This is way too much drama for 8 months. I'm glad you didn't get suckered into paying for his trip to Japan but I'm surprised you are still talking to him. NTA. Lose the mooch!
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    tyleritis He neither understands nor respects what she does for a living. He's giving me secondhand embarrassment
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    lady-scorpio-45 His demands were insane. Cut your losses and don't feel even a bit guilty.
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    PhoenixVivi NTA. This was your job. Your client paid for it. He has no reason to ask you to take him or his daughter along. If they feel that entitled enough to whine about not going, that's enough of a strike. His daughter ghosted you. I'm sure you tried explaining to her, but I'm sure your bf torched you to her and blah blah blah. If this is only 8 months in, girl run.
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    Ok_Play2364 8 months? And he thinks you should take him and his daughter on a business trip? Does GOLDIGGER sound right?
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    ImaginaryReward2734 Absolutely NTA. Please trust your gut and end things. Every interaction you've described with him surrounding this trip is a red flag. He is behaving selfishly and would have hijacked your work trip to make it a vacation for himself, on your dime, with no consideration for the serious repercussions it would have had for your career. You would have appeared extremely unprofessional, and in the likely instance he caused a scene while on the trip, you would have made everyone el
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    RandomReddit9791 I think it's best you end things. He comes across as inconsiderate, selfish, and thoughtless. The fact that his daughter behaved the same way and he didn't even blink about it, says he condone it. Move on with your life.
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    Ancient-Meal-5465 It would have been terrible business etiquette to bring your boyfriend and his daughter. Japanese people are very conservative. Your loser boyfriend couldn't even pay for his own expenses - he wanted you to pay. Also, after 8 months it's crazy he was putting in gift requests for his daughter and nieces Dump him. He's a loser. Focus on your own kids.
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    lookingformiles You say you want to create a good future? Best way to get started on that is to dump him immediately and without ceremony. NTA.
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    TOOnarmy1 I would end this relationship for a few key reasons. 1. He expected you to take him, AND HIS DAUGHTER, on your dime, on a WORK TRIP. What grown a man doesn't realize that a request like that is not appropriate. This is not a vacation, this is a work trip, and if you wanted to invite him you would have. Also, why would you take his kid and not yours? You haven't even been dating a year and his daughter is giving you the silent treatment over not getting a free trip to Japan? He's textin
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    YakElectronic6713 NTA. You have only been dating for 8 months, and he's already this unhinged??? RUN NOW! BREAK UP with him already!!!! Seriously? Why the f would you put up with such a controlling loser?????
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    Odd-End-1405 His request was a career killer, absolutely ridiculous and WAY over the top for only 8 months in. His behaved like a petulant child and showed that he values what you can provide materially more than anything. His child is entitled and r de. Why are you with this person? You and your children deserve better. NTA
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    Parking_Pomelo_3856 Never bring family on a business trip. Not even to Orlando. A woman I worked with did and we all thought it was weird and then she spent her evenings with them instead of on the group outings. Completely unprofessional.
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    NTA. purpleroller Let this man go. It was a business trip. The first time he asked to come along I would have closed that down so fast. Just not appropriate. And then to try and bring his daughter. And then to expect it to be all paid for by you. Then all the silent treatment (from them both!). And finally demanding a load of presents bringing back and moaning when you didn't - despite the complete lack of support for your trip. Someone who loved you would have been excited for you about the tri
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    Sunmoon98 NTA and stop feeling bad. It was a work trip and he had no understanding of that. He was only thinking about him and his daughter. She is not your daughter so you have 0 obligations to her. You guys are not married. He was acting childish, and got his 17 year old daughter involved. I can guarantee he promised her she would be able to go on the trip and used an excuse to blame you somehow. This shows you what your marriage could potentially be like if you ever get married.
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    destiny_kane48 NTA, he isn't the one. Move on. Every second you delay is a second wasted.
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    quietaccount1000 Work. It's called work. Sometimes travel is part of it. As someone who had many work trips to seemingly great fun places, I can tell you that I was working. All the time. NTA
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    sffood He adds LITERALLY nothing to your life. But he sure seems to like taking. Run, don't walk, out of this "relationship."
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    redbull_and_fumes NTA, your boyfriend is expecting too much from you while giving way too little back. There is no reason he should be asking for any of these things after you explained to him that it was a BUSINESS TRIP that you had to WORK at. If he wants an expensive out of the country vacation, he has to be able to finance it. Asking you to do so on a whim is INSANE
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    Tag_youareit So many red flags and he is definitely using you... yep, cut your losses and go. Your kids and you are better off. NTA
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